Happy Birthday, Tim

Today my brother Tim would have turned 48.  The youngest of four, he would have been the only sibling still under age 50.  He only got 11 birthdays.  I am coming up on 54.

I never acknowledged Tim’s birthday to my parents.  I never called to ask how they were doing on that day.  I deeply regret it.  Trust me, people who have lost someone appreciate it when you bring up that person’s name.  They lived, they mattered; there were lots of good times together.  A birthday is something to celebrate, even after a person is gone.

I saw a Facebook post a few days ago that said something like:  “I tripped and fell into some feelings, but I’m okay now.  I brushed that shit off.”  That’s how it works for a while.  Until you can’t do it any more.  We missed 37 birthdays with Tim.  That’s a lot of shit to brush off. 

 


12 Comments on “Happy Birthday, Tim”

  1. David says:

    Happy Birthday, Tim. Following every post and rooting for you, Catherine. Keep it up.

  2. Dave says:

    Tim was just a few weeks older than me. I remember following the case on the news. When I heard that he had been killed I was really sad. I cried for him. Even though I never knew him I still felt a terrible sense of loss. Happy Birthday, Timothy King. You are not forgotten.

  3. I commend your non-brushing C-

    Happy Birthday Tim 🙂

  4. Jacqueline says:

    Gone but never forgotten. My sis lost her baby boy Joey when he was only 3 days old. Never forget his birthday. He would have been 20 at the end of this month. It’s the love we carry.

  5. Andrew Wellman says:

    He is not forgotten. Thank you for the post.

  6. Judi Coltman says:

    A summer baby never has to go to school on their birthday. It’s the best feeling to not have to get up and do anything but celebrate all day, look forward to presents and eat cake. Tim celebrated 11 of them, but I’ll bet he filled then with 48 years of joy. Thanks for allowing us all to remember Tim.

  7. Lynne Marsh says:

    Happy Birthday, Tim. Cathy, I think “regret” is a common thread that runs through every quilt of grief in some way, shape or form. There is no perfect way to grieve and no perfect way on how to handle every piece of grief. And we learn a little bit more about grief as time passes.

  8. Margaret says:

    Happy Birthday to Tim. My thoughts are with you and your family, Cathy.

  9. Gwen Clark says:

    Happy Birthday Tim,our precious grand nephew.So bright,fun loving,adorable.We miss you so much.

  10. Christine says:

    Happy Birthday, Tim. Sorry, I was away from my computer last week. Cathy, please know you and yours have a lot of support and I wish we could do more to help.

  11. Tia says:

    A little late, but wishing Tim a Happy Birthday. You have touched so many lives in ways you never could have imagined. You will never be forgotten.


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